The Courage To Be Transparent (Thank you!)

A few years back I wrote this quote, “There is a life in the crowd, and perhaps JUST one, who needs me. If my words find their way to them, then my life has indeed been worth the living”. It is a quote that I vowed to make my mantra. I said that I would allow it to make me get up everyday and continue to trust and believe in God’s plan for my life even when it isn’t the easiest thing to do. Well, I received a very courageous and heartfelt letter the other day from someone who made that quote clearer to me than it had ever been. The letter humbled me to tears but more than that, it re-energized and refocused me!

I am going to share the open letter with you (anonymously of course) so that you will be able to perhaps get a better handle on why it is that I do what I do and why I will continue to do it in whatever capacity I am able for the rest of my human existence. What this message has done is help to start a journey for me that I have been putting off for some time. It is a journey that I will share with you all in the upcoming days and weeks in hopes that you will be a part of it.

This is the letter that will continue to be a source of inspiration for me:

 

Hey Justin!

So this is going to appear completely random but that’s the beauty of it. This is meant to be a sincere thanks from one soul to another. Sending this has been on my mind the past couple days so I’m finally sending it out.

Hopefully you remember me. Lol! We met at a bar in Buckhead nearly a year ago. Well, that night changed my life and you played an integral part in the transformation. This serves as my thanks to you for the part you played in my life completely turning around. So I’ll get right into it…

About 2 hours after I met you I found myself sitting in jail after being arrested for DUI. Now I’ll tell you I’ve never had any major trouble with the law. First arrest. First time in jail. But I had had several ‘fortunate’ run-ins with the law as a result of my drinking….pulled over for driving the wrong way down a one way while drunk (and let go)…pulled over while drunk on 85 (and let go)…approached by the police the morning after blacking out behind the wheel and hitting 2 mailboxes in my neighborhood (ticketed for hitting an object). All of these incidents only fueled my ‘invisibility’…my thought that anything that happened as a result of my drinking wasn’t going to be that bad bc I didn’t have a problem. And of course anything bad that happened was not fully my fault. I never ever thought I would get a DUI bc I could control my drinking. I knew only alcoholics…people with real drinking problems got DUIs. I thought the fact that both of my parents are alcoholics played no real role in my drinking…because I could control it and stop if I wanted to.

Well after getting home from jail I was rocked. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t figure out how I had just been released from jail. JAIL. How the hell had I been arrested for DUI?? I wasn’t a problem drinker!! I was literally a zombie hoping and praying I would wake up…that it was all a bad, bad dream. I kept the television on and just laid back and forth from the couch to my bed for the rest of the weekend. It was only after being awake for nearly 72hrs filled with worry, guilt, and shame…then finally shutting off the tv and laying in silence with my spirit…with my thoughts…that was I enabled to have an awakening.

Something willed me out of bed to ‘write it’. I literally heard a voice inside me repeating over and over ‘write it. Write it. Write it.’  I had been journaling on and off for several months last year. But that willing was to write my thoughts…frustrations…and it was during these moments that my mind suddenly drifted to you and our encounter. You had told me there were no coincidences. And that message just kept repeating over and over again as I was writing. It was then…at 4:30 in the morning…I was willed to pull up your interview on YouTube for your book Wrapped In Skin. And in listening to your words…it was as if divinity was speaking DIRECTLY to me…through you. Here’s a few excerpts from my journal as I was experiencing this vivid spiritual experience..

“Utterly amazing. Amazing Grace. I just listened to Justin Jamar’s interview on his book and his thoughts about life, God, and Spirit and it was the exact message that I needed to hear right now. And I’m weeping thinking about how much love God must have for me to have put him in my life just before giving me this life lesson. Utterly amazing. It’s all true. It’s all real. And it’s all amazing.”

“…there are no coincidences. Everything happens for a reason and I’m sitting here feeling that overwhelming sense of reason.”

“Justin talked about living a righteous life.  How by living an unrighteous life you find it difficult to hear God….just take the root of that word. RIGHT. Live right. When you’re living right you feel it. You’re connected. Before now I believe I was aware but I clouded it. I numbed it.”

“God doesn’t, Justin says, place anything in your life He knows you can’t handle. That wonderful power.”

“Justin says recognize who you are and don’t be ashamed of it”

There’s so much more but I’ll spare you. Your message I embraced as a message from the Universe. The message of God…Energy…Divinity…Love…Universal Spirit…speaking through you.

It wasn’t completely that night that I embraced that I was an alcoholic but it was the spiritual awakening required to get there. I haven’t had a drink since the night I met you. Today I sit here writing to you as a very grateful recovering alcoholic. I now embrace my alcoholism as a part of who I am…and that it’s completely ok…and I can’t tell you the level of gratitude I have for knowing that fact.

These past months have been some of the absolute best of my life. My consciousness is no longer drowning…but thriving. I’ve met the love of my life who fully supports me in my journey and I’m so proud to say walks next to me. She’s everything I could have ever hoped for in a life partner and I feel she crossed my path exactly when she was meant to…with me in full clarity. It’s only in this full clarity that I understand why she had yet to cross my path (I just wasn’t ready). I’m writing more and more.  I am enabled to experience REAL connections with people and share them through my writing. I am living day-to-day, more and more in line with this life’s true purpose of bringing joy to all. My relationships are richer. I’m hurdling forward on my spiritual journey. I have clarity and awareness every single day. I actually experience and FEEL real joy every single day. I’m now enabled to experience that awesome Divine power that runs through me and all life in such an amazing way each and every day.

So…thank you Justin. Thank you for being such a willing vessel of the soul of the Universe. Thank you for being such a major part of this soul’s awakening. I beg of you to keep walking in your light. Keep listening to that God, energy, love, consciousness that guides you on your path. You’ve probably moved more waves of consciousness than you know. But I’ll tell you this wave is grateful.

I hope all is well with you and you’re achieving YOUR success…that is whatever success looks like to you.

No need to respond to this at all Justin. Seriously. I just felt that willing to send it out to you. Take care, be well, live peacefully, and consciously choose joy everyday!!”

So whatever is that you have been purposed and destined to do with your life, wherever it is that your gifts, your talents, and your passion resides; please do us all a favor and share it with the world willingly. Someone desperately needs it!!

 

Be Well Always, In ALL ways,

Justin Jamar – @OneJustinJamar – http://www.wrappedinskin.comjjamar24@yahoo.com

 

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